I love podcasts and have recently been listening to a lot of Brené Brown’s podcast episodes. I nearly skipped past one about grief the other day because I thought ‘it’s not relevant to me, I’m not grieving’. But in the spirit of expanding my understanding of things which do not directly apply to me, I pressed play. It was a really insightful conversation and about halfway through the topic turned to current events and David Kessler said:
I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I stopped prepping dinner and just stood in the kitchen my jaw dropped, my arms hung loose by my sides and I started sobbing. There was this sudden realisation that I am grieving, we are all grieving right now. I unexpectedly had this clear understanding of what a lot of the heaviness and uncertainty in my life was about. It wasn’t just that routines have changed and things are a bit different. It’s because I hadn’t even allowed myself to fully realise that the world that I had known and experienced is never going to be the same again. We have moved through a period of complete change and whilst we will not be going through the pandemic forever, the world will have changed and our experiences in the world will also change out of that.
By not acknowledging that we are grieving, we are not allowing ourselves to move through that process. By understanding what we are experiencing we are able to give ourselves more kindness, more grace to let the emotions happen and let ourselves grieve.
The stages of grief are:
These stages are not linear. I keep testing, seeing if I can find solutions and then moving straight into denial or anger. It’s easier for me to bury my head in the sand than accept that alternatives are needed right now. It’s easier to be annoyed or angry about the situation than to do something about it.
As always, I try and find the mindful approach because that what works for me. Acknowledging that I am grieving and that I have strong emotions moving through me right now allows me to let myself feel the feelings and process this in whatever way I need to. By not trying to resist or deny what I am naturally experiencing makes the process a lot easier. I am moving forward with awareness and taking each day as it comes. Doing what I can in the present and hoping we all find a way to move forward to some kind of acceptance. The world is and will always be different from now on and to some extent that means we as humans need to be too.
I really recommend the Unlocking Us podcast by Brené Brown, especially the David Kesslar episode. If my story has resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. Comment below or drop me an email firstname.lastname@example.org