A few months ago I fell down a flight of stairs. I was on my way out the door for a cousin’s wedding and I slipped off the top step landing in the cupcakes at the bottom! I was a bit sore and bruised but ultimately all still intact and adrenaline saw me through the morning. A couple of days later something didn’t feel right in my elbow. I went to the hospital to get it checked out but they wouldn’t X-ray because I could move the joint. Over the next 3 months I had a pain in the elbow joint when I put any weight on it which became increasingly frustrating when practicing yoga. I went to the doctor who said it wasn’t the bone but could be other fascia or nerve damage and referred me to the physio. 6 weeks later the physio said there were no nerves or ligaments in that area only bone so I must have bruised the bone!!! Long story short(ish) we worked out the reason there was still pain was probably because I hadn’t rested the elbow. It hadn’t even occurred to me to stop weight bearing on the area (duh, I know!). If there was any bruising it wouldn’t have had time to heal with me constantly using it.
The choice was simple, continue using the elbow and deal with the pain, maybe making something worse; or take a break, give it a little time and, hopefully, comeback better and stronger without the pain. It was a no brainer right?! Wrong, there was one issue – my ego. I’d really started making progress in my pincha (forearm stand) and didn’t want to stop practicing. Why? What’s the point? Why do I need to be able to do forearm stand? Why is it so hard to let go? As much as I knew resting was the right thing to do why was I still wanting to do the wrong thing?
Why do we seem to struggle to let go of control, the need to be in charge of every situation? It’s tough to let go and just let things be. I think as humans we spend a lot of time carefully constructing and controlling the world we live in to be a certain way; the way we want it to be. So, if something comes along and throws everything off it’s hard to just allow things to change. Change is hard.
So, for 3 weeks I did my best to let go, surrender to the present and to whatever will be. At the end of the 3 weeks I rolled my mat out put my forearms down and gave dolphin, then pincha a try. Something magic happened. Not only was my elbow ok to weight bear but I was able to pick up right where I left off with my practice. It felt great. All that worry and concern for what? Even if I hadn’t been able to get back into the posture – what does it matter? Sometimes we have to let go and allow whatever will happen to just happen for good or for bad and deal with the consequences when they happen. I guess it ultimately comes down to living in the present – not regretting what has already happened or worrying about what hasn’t even happened yet (and might not ever happen!)
Whatever it is you’re struggling to let go of, just do it… free yourself and let go.